Young Jane Doe Problems
This story talks about Jane Doe, a 27 years old male – a C.A to understand if he actually has a solution to his problems. During the first session, Jane Doe’s thoughts were showing a red flag. He had been sliding towards depression and had developed alcohol as a coping mechanism. As the sessions continued, it was understood that the unresolved conflicts during childhood and pent up emotions are the reason behind why Jane Doe had to go through this phase of life.
Every person has unresolved issues. But not every unresolved issue leads to pathology. When it is triggered by an external factor or stimulus, it becomes pathology. To conclude, every person is vulnerable. All you need to do is to take care of your mental health, physiological health and spiritual health.
Identifying Information:
Jane Doe, Male, aged about 27 years, walks to the Counselling Centre with a list of complaints. On the outside, he had completed his CA and had his own firm with more than 15 people working in his organization.
Presenting complaints/ reasons for the visit:
1. Reduced sleep and appetite. (Since about a year)
2. Frequent nightmares. (3 to 4 scenarios repeated about 5 times in the past 6 months.)
3. Palpitation/ racing heartbeat, short breath, stiffness in facial muscles. (Since about a year)
4. Pain in forehead region and headache complaints were frequent. (Since about 6 months)
5. Scared about the future. (Since about 4 months)
6. Usually feeling sad or anxious all day every day. (Since about 2 months)
7. Increased alcohol use. (Since about 6 months)
Informant:
Jane Doe comes up and talks about the issues all by himself. He explains that he has been in this state from the last 6 months. Jane Doe acknowledged that his friend forced him to take therapy instead of worrying about his issues over alcohol. Therapist thus directs Jane Doe to meet him weekly once for 7 sessions to which Jane Doe said “yes”.
Story of Jane Doe:
Jane Doe is the last son to the parents who worked in their won farm. Jane Doe has a brother and a sister. Brother is staying abroad with his wife and a child whereas the sister is staying in her husband’s home with 2 children. Jane Doe shared and still shares a good relationship with his mother, sister and brother. When he was questioned about how his relationship with his father is, Jane Doe explained that he passed away 11 years ago due to excessive alcohol consumption which resulted in leaver scleroses. When probed, Jane Doe explains about his disturbed relationship with his father because of his habits of drinking, violence against mother, himself and the sister (brother had left to Bingle to study). Jane Doe explains that his father was doubting on his wife and always used to claim that she had affairs with other men and this was the reason why the fights began. “It used to end after my mom started bleeding.” Said Jane Doe. He adds to it saying “I was locked in the room and I could hear my mom crying and my dad hitting her with a block of wood or a plastic pipe or rubber tube. I could even see it through the window (Cries). I couldn’t save her. (cries).” Jane Doe’s then class teacher talks to his mother and takes care of him in her house when he was in his 8th grade. Jane Doe explains that he was always an academic achiever and had been in top 10 list.
After completing his 10th grade, Jane Doe shifts to Bingle City to Study 11th,12th and further, staying at his brother’s place. This is again Jane Doe – “I was happy on one side for staying away from my dad, so that I can study peacefully and achieve something great. But, at the same time, I was feeling worried and anxious thinking about the way my dad would be treating my mom. I even thought that my mother would be no more to see my achievements and would either be killed by my father or would commit suicide because of my father.”
Jane Doe continues explaining that it was difficult for him to concentrate on his studies and used to call his neighbor or teacher who cared him for 3 years, to understand about the present situation. He praises his neighbor saying that they were patient and was talking to him and explaining him about how things were. Jane Doe then explained that his father died in a minimum facility hospital after 3 days of hospitalization. He was pronounced dead 4 months prior to Jane Doe’s 12th grade exams. Jane Doe – “His death is something that made my mom’s life peaceful. I was liberated from my anxiety and worries. I was so revealed and so was my sister. My brother was not so much affected because he was in the hostel ever since his childhood and had been detached from the family.” He adds to it that he could concentrate on academics better after the death. He explained that the mother and sister were staying in the farm house. By this time, the farm had started minting money and had a great turnover. Jane Doe calls these “The Golden Days”. He then started studying in B.Com. during which his sister got married. Jane Doe proudly said that he was one among the university toppers. He then continued with his masters (M.Com.) during which his brother got married. Few months after which the first nephew was born.
“I used to go to my village weekly once to see my mom, my sister, my brother in law and my nephew happy. I still do it. But, because of the present issues, I have not gone there since a couple of months.” Said Jane Doe.
Jane Doe, after completing his masters in commerce, had appeared for C.A examination and had cleared it in the 3rd attempt. He explains that he had the potential and caliber to do it. Jane Doe then worked under a CA for a couple of years after which he started his own firm and is a successful entrepreneur.
He explains another incident which has an impact on his beliefs. This is the Verbatim.
Jane Doe – “There is another incident that makes me scared about the future.”
Cullinan – “What is that about?”
Jane Doe – “It was on my nephew’s second birthday, an incident happened which I can never forget. (Paused). We were celebrating his 2nd year birthday in our farmhouse. We had invited more than 200 people and almost all of them showed up. We had organized a cocktail party and dinner. Everything was going fine and smooth till late evening. Right before the bartender opened the bottles, my nephew fainted due to a THI (Traumatic Head Injury) after which we rushed her to the hospital and first aid was given. We reached home in an hour and saw only two people waiting for us to say Bye and everybody left without having food and drinks. It was all my sponsor for the party. We all felt so bad after this. We decided not to plan or organize any such parties in the future.”
These were the exact words Jane Doe talked to me during the therapy. He further explained that he had started withdrawing from parties and meeting friends. He explains that he drinks with one of his close friends in his house. “My house has a small bar. I invite my friend. We drink, we eat and we talk about random things. When I talked about my issues to him, he instructed me to meet you in person and gave your phone number.”
This was jane Doe prior to his visit to CCC. During the process of interrogation, Jane Doe opened up saying that he has been in physical relationship with 4 women who he met on Facebook, Tinder and Bumble. He also added to it that it was not a relationship and was a casual thing. He calls it “friends with benefits.”
Jane Doe claims that he has never been into any problems or conflicts because of these kinds of relationships.
“My mother is now forcing me to get married and she has already started searching for a girl. This makes me feel more anxious.” He said. He added to it that he is well settled financially, socially and is physically stable. He complained that he had been feeling emotionally unstable – which is making him reject every girl his mother suggests. Jane Doe acknowledged that this behavior made him feel guilty. To overcome this feeling, Jane Doe chose alcoholism as a coping mechanism. He acknowledged that he has never been to meet the girls he has been in a relationship with – in the past 4 months and claimed that it might be one among the reasons behind why he has been rejecting every girl his mother is suggesting him. He continued explaining about his friends who are married and are not happy – claiming that to be one of the reasons for his anxiety. While Jane Doe was thinking about the reasons for his problems, his anxiety increased as a result of which he had become verbally more expressive.
Cullinan then made him relax on the couch and let him free to speak after mild relaxation. Jane Doe, while talking to Cullinan, suddenly pauses while explaining about his brother’s marital relationship issues, he questioned Cullinan about the probable reasons behind why he is facing these issues.
WE AS THERAPISTS USUALLY DON’T BE DIRECT IN OUR APPROACH – AT LEAST NOT DIRECTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO PROVIDING INSIGHT TO PATIENTS WITH TRAUMATIC AND UNPLEASENT PAST LIFE EXPERIENCE.
Jane Doe was probed. He then understood that he was scared because, he believed that celebration leads to tragic ending. He also became aware of his belief that he doesn’t believe in women that much.
It was clear that Jane Doe’s present situation was because of his childhood experience where his father was abusive towards his mother, where the father was alcoholic and was abusive towards Jane Doe himself. His parents’ marital relationship was the only example he has – either to follow or to reject (either as a positive role model or a negative role model). Jane Doe, as he was powerless as a child, had no freedom to express his experienced emotions. Adding to it, presently, it is clear from Jane Doe’s words that his conscious belief is that he might become like his father. To cope with this stressful situation, he is taking a flight from stimulus that makes him respond according to his beliefs. Adding to this, the nephew’s birthday incident that wasn’t successful because of a disaster has an impact on Jane Doe’s belief.
“Celebrations will always have a tragic ending” – Jane Doe’s exact words. To overcome this, Jane Doe, as mentioned above, takes a flight from the stimulus that puts him in the celebration scenario.
These beliefs were gradually resolved by imposing psychotherapy on Jane Doe for 4 sessions.
It has been 8 months after termination, I read a message from Jane Doe which read –
“Dear Cullinan,
I am Jane Doe. Hope you remember me. I am all well now. thank you for helping me out. I need a 10 minutes appointment to meet you and invite you to my marriage. Please inbox the time and date so that I can come with my fiancé.
Yours truly,
Jane Doe”
Sketch by @Chiyaan Bala